Author Q&A with Dean Koontz

December 6, 2006

First: In the e-mails you leave for me at the e-mail address given above, I'm being asked to send signed photos, books for charity auctions, and old socks for Old Sock Festivals. I'm happy to do all of that, but I must have a mailing address. Because of the popularity of "Author Q&A," I can't respond to every e-mail and seek addresses where needed. If you're asking for something that has to be sent by snail-mail, either leave an address where the snail can find you, or write to me at the post office box listed below:

Dean Koontz
PO Box 9529
Newport Beach, California 92658

After a long break, during which I attended to the minor matter of meeting a novel deadline, here I am with new installments of "Author Q&A." This will be a weekly feature for at least four weeks. Please understand that, due to the large volume, I cannot answer e-mails with e-mails. Do not send speaking invitations, requests for charity-auction books, requests for signed photos, and such by e-mail; for those purposes, write directly to the post office box that has been listed in the back of all my Bantam books. Only comments on--and questions for--this column should be sent to dean@deankoontz.com. Initially, as we established this new web site, we had problems with the "Ten Question" archives, but they are now easily accessible.

 

Question #1

I was impressed to see you read up to 200 books a year. Do you prefer to buy and keep the books you read, or do you borrow them from the library? I prefer to buy and keep them. --Cristy, Gulfport

The correct thing, the courteous and moral and courageous thing, the wise thing, is to buy a book to read, buy a second copy to maintain in pristine condition in a vacuum under glass, buy a third copy to donate to the library, buy a fourth copy as a sign of solidarity with the author, and buy a fifth copy as an attaboy for Johannes Gutenberg, the inventor of movable type. In our library and at various other locations throughout the house, we have close to 40,000 volumes--even after I conducted a ruthless culling of the collection four years ago.

Question #2

You were once my mom's neighbor, and she said you were a very nice guy. So I thought I would ask you for a little advice. I have always (since I was 10) wanted to write, and now at 42, I am. After I get the book finished, do I need to obtain a copyright before sending it to a publisher? --No name, no address, absolutely no respect for the protocols of this column

By law, a copyright registration can't be obtained for a book until it has been published. The publisher--a genuine publisher, not a subsidy publisher--will apply for the copyright in your name as part of its standard business practices. Some people will tell you to mail yourself a copy by registered mail, sign for it, and leave it in the sealed package as a form of "common-law copyright," but this is wasted effort and useless in court. Although I have known publishers who tweaked the royalty statements in their favor, I've never heard of one actually stealing a book or a book idea. It doesn't happen because it isn't worth the legal risks. (In Hollywood they steal as a matter of honor, the way gang members have to kill someone as an initiation, and they relish court fights. But publishing isn't like the film business.) Some writers type a copyright notice on their title pages, but this has no legal effect and in fact identifies the author as an amateur. It's interesting that your mom was our neighbor and says I'm a nice guy, yet you appear to be afraid to give me your name or even a vague idea of your whereabouts. If your mom was the neighbor who spent three months in the hospital because of the incident with our pet gorilla, Goober, please tell her that we no longer allow him to drive our car and that, in retrospect, it does seem inexplicable to us that we ever thought it was a good idea to provide him with a pair of semiautomatic pistols.

Question #3

My father and I would like to know if the movie based on your book INTENSITY will ever be available on video. I would like to buy it from you if possible. --Robert, Canada

I've received thousands of inquiries like yours. I have no idea why Sony or Lions Gate, or whoever owns video rights to this project, has not issued it on DVD. Because it was a miniseries, it was too long to present on a single videotape; however, it would easily fit uncut on a single disc. I possess a master tape of it, but I do not own the film rights anymore, and cannot sell copies made from my master. But I do have a portfolio of really cute baby pictures of myself for which I am willing to entertain offers.

Question #4

I particularly love your dialogue, though I feel I should warn you that the people who translate your books into Swedish seriously demolish your work. My question: Is a Swedish character ever going to make it through one of your books alive? -- Kim, Stockholm

Maybe not if he's a book translator and if your report is correct. Actually, I hadn't been aware that Swedes appear routinely in my books and meet a dreadful end. Perhaps my fictional Swede-killing is an unconscious response to my childhood experiences with a babysitter named Olga and her wicked sock puppet, Slash.

Question #5

I'm in the middle of reading HIDEAWAY. Is it a coincidence that Regina is exactly like Leilani from ONE DOOR AWAY FROM HEAVEN? Also, I read all of Trixie's articles, and I just want to know... how do you get her to pee on command, and why would you want to do that? My dog just pees on every tree, and as we live on a farm with many trees, sometimes this takes quite awhile. -- Another nameless reader, from a nameless place

I loved Regina, who was not one of the three leads of the book but was, indeed, the heart of the book. I wanted to write a novel in which she was more explicitly a lead character, but I didn't want to write a sequel to HIDEAWAY. A version of her later surfaced as Leilani in ONE DOOR AWAY FROM HEAVEN. They share the same physical disabilities and the same level of intelligence, but they really are not otherwise alike. Regina is absolute innocence, quick on the uptake but fundamentally naive. Leilani is far from naive; she has seen too much, experienced too much, to be naive. She is a more mature and complex character than Regina. As for Trixie...she was a companion dog for a young woman in a wheelchair. After elbow surgery, Trixie had to retire at three. She had two years of training and performed dozens of tasks for her human companion. Because many disabled people have mobility issues, dogs like Trixie are trained to toilet on a schedule related to their feeding times. Because, as you well know, dogs can wander around a lot before deciding on the precise best spot to deposit their "products," and because disabled people in wheelchairs cannot keep them on a leash and follow them all over a grassy meadow, it is necessary for the dogs to learn to toilet on command. That they are able to do so and are content to do so says a great deal about the amiability and intelligence of dogs--and about the incredible skill of trainers with such organizations as Canine Companions for Independence, which was where Trixie came from.

Question #6

I listen to your audiobooks while driving to and from work. With LIFE EXPECTANCY, I almost peed my pants laughing. I love how your books have a mixture of humor, fright, wonder, etc. Who decides on the audio narrator of each book? Do you have any input? Most of them are good, but some are outstanding and make the book all the better. -- Deborah, Orchard Park

Thanks for your kind words, Deborah, but do not send me your dry-cleaning bills. And God help whoever buys the used car that was once yours. As for the audio readers... I don't claim to be an expert on many subjects, and I don't pretend to be a genius on any subject, so in the selection of narrators, I bow to the opinions of the people with experience. When Random House Audio reissued TICKTOCK in an unabridged version, I did get involved because of the need to have a reader with the ability to capture the right comic nuance of those scenes inspired by old screwball comedy films. I'm responsible for Paul Michael reading that one, and I think he did a wonderful job.

Question #7

My favorite book of all time is THE TAKING, and I was just wondering why I never hear anything about it? Was it not one of your favorites? Please give me the story. --Nick, California

I'm perfectly happy with THE TAKING, and I receive a great deal of mail from readers who were thrilled by it. However, there's a problem with discussing this book in detail: To do so would be to give away a thumping big twist that comes only at the end. Although several million people have read it, I hope to get it in the hands of the 283 million Americans who have not yet taken a look at it. I do not, of course, think all of those 283 million are reading this column, but I hope to avoid spoiling the book for even the mere 126 million of them currently poring over these words. But if I am asked questions about THE TAKING that I can answer without giving away the game, I will happily do so.

Question #8

What are your other interests? Your books are so diverse in their frames of reference that it's hard to identify your key interests other than a love of music, books, and dogs. --Lynda, England

My wife and I love architecture, art, and antiques, especially all manner of things from the Art Deco period, as well as Japanese Meiji bronzes, screens, and lacquerwork. We have a charitable foundation that focuses on severely disabled people as well as on critically ill kids, which occupies some of our time and energy. Then, of course, we devote hundreds of hours a year to research seeking proof that there was a fourth Stooge brother--Norbert, who graduated summa cum laude from Harvard and, thus, was such an embarrassment to the Stooge family that Larry, Curly, and Moe beat him unconscious with salamis, water bladders, and hardened loaves of French bread, then stripped him of all ID, and left him with amnesia in a bazaar in Istanbul.

Question #9

I've read that you do not much like cats and that you are allergic to them. I've recently gotten a little 3-month-old male kitten from our local humane society and named him Sir DDK, after my favorite singer (Niel Diamond), favorite actor (Johnny Depp), and favorite author. Does little DDK have your blessing to use your name? --Karen, Illinois

I like cats. I would love to have a cat. But I am so allergic to them that if I enter a house where a cat resides, the allergic reaction is so immediate that I have to inject myself with epinephrine (which I carry at all times), chug liquid Benedril, and get to a hospital to avoid falling into anaphylactic shock and suffocating as my airway swells shut. Our friend Laura Albano, to whom I dedicated LIFE EXPECTANCY, knows all this and has decided to get me a kitten for Christmas. With friends like this, who needs Satan? (Hi, Laura.) DDK is free to use my name, although actually he is only using my initial. The fee for the use of my initial is only $415 annually.

Question #10

What are some of your favorite TV shows? -- Stacie, whereabouts unknown

I never miss an episode of "Dancing with Dead Celebrities," which is, admittedly, gruesome, but entertaining. William Shatner is terrific hosting "Show Me the Money and I'll Show You What's In My Pants." The new "Survivor," which pits a team of humans, smeared in butter, against a pack of hungry wolves, promises to provide the obnoxious contestants with a suitable fate at last.

Next Installment Coming Soon!