Author Q&A with Dean Koontz

November 29, 2006

First: In the e-mails you leave for me at the e-mail address given above, I'm being asked to send signed photos, books for charity auctions, and old socks for Old Sock Festivals. I'm happy to do all of that, but I must have a mailing address. Because of the popularity of "Author Q&A," I can't respond to every e-mail and seek addresses where needed. If you're asking for something that has to be sent by snail-mail, either leave an address where the snail can find you, or write to me at the post office box listed below:

Dean Koontz
PO Box 9529
Newport Beach, California 92658

After a long break, during which I attended to the minor matter of meeting a novel deadline, here I am with new installments of "Author Q&A." This will be a weekly feature for at least four weeks. Please understand that, due to the large volume, I cannot answer e-mails with e-mails. Do not send speaking invitations, requests for charity-auction books, requests for signed photos, and such by e-mail; for those purposes, write directly to the post office box that has been listed in the back of all my Bantam books. Only comments on--and questions for--this column should be sent to dean@deankoontz.com. Initially, as we established this new web site, we had problems with the "Ten Question" archives, but they are now easily accessible.

 

Question #1

Over the years you have been in my bed every night. I have pushed your books on other people and even on strangers I meet in the toilet-paper aisle at the grocery store. The one I recommend most is BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON. Is there any way you could bring back Shep and Dylan from that book? -- Joanne, who failed to provide even the most general geographical location, not even the name of her continent or planet

Joanne, forgive me, but I would prefer that you push my books in the cereal aisle or the canned-meat aisle. Your activities in the toilet-paper aisle explain why so many readers tell me that they discovered my books and Charmin on the same day. As for a sequel to BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON: Many readers make this request, but with Odd Thomas ongoing, the third Chris Snow still waiting, and the third Frankenstein still underway, I don't foresee committing to yet another series at this time.

Question #2

Sometimes I lend my books to my mother-in-law, and she doesn't return them. I ask nicely when I visit her, but she always seems to forget my request. Can you make her return my books? --Anita, Buffalo

If I had your mom-in-law's address and phone number, I would start gently, diplomatically, with "reminder" calls at 1:00 a.m. and every hour thereafter until dawn. If you didn't have your books back by breakfast, I would politely explain that I intended to break her knees. If you didn't have the books back by lunch, I would arrive on your mom-in-law's front porch, ring the doorbell, and break her knees with a Louisville slugger when she opened the door. For convenience, let's call your mom-in-law Anastasia. If someone other than Anastasia answered the door, I would, of course, be courteous to that person, quietly explain the reason for my call, and request the pleasure of a visit with Anastasia, for the purpose of breaking her knees. If the person answering the door--for convenience, let's call him Burt--refused to summon the book-thieving lady, you might imagine that I would break his knees, but you would be so very wrong. Burt has done nothing to me and has not misappropriated your books. I am not a violent man, only one who cherishes justice. With the Louisville slugger, I would rap Burt on the top of the head just precisely hard enough to render him unconscious for nine and a half minutes, whereafter I would once more ring the doorbell. If Anastasia did not respond, I would step over Burt, into the foyer, and call out, "Yoohoo, is anyone home?" Perhaps Anastasia keeps a pet parrot. For convenience, let's call the parrot Mr. Feathers. In answer to my neighborly "Yoohoo," Mr. Feathers might be expected to disgorge a shocking stream of four-letter words learned in his youth when he was the pet of a pirate. Alternately, he might request a few crackers or express his fondness for crackers, or he might inform me that Anastasia has gone to the supermarket to purchase crackers. With Anastasia at the market, I would discreetly search the house, locate your books, and retrieve them for you. In the course of the search, it's likely that I would notice that Anastasia's housekeeping does not in every regard meet my high standards. This is not to say that your mom-in-law lives in a sty; I am sure that anyone with a name as pedigreed as Anastasia must have some grace and an abiding appreciation for cleanliness. It's just that my standards are of the highest order. Consequently, I would sit at her kitchen table, assuming that it was not filthy with toast crumbs and smears of butter, to write her a friendly detailed note regarding only the most grotesque examples of filth that I have observed, complete with a cleaning regimen to ensure that the odious squalor and festering slime do not eventually prove to be the breeding ground of an epidemic that might sweep the nation, killing millions. When she discovers this helpful program to make of her a cleaner person, Anastasia will be unspeakably grateful. No doubt, before I have finished composing this valuable guide to a less squalid lifestyle, Burt will have regained consciousness and, following the excited directions of Mr. Feathers, will have stumbled into the kitchen to confront me, as men named Burt are wont to do. Perhaps he will slip on a viscous gob of grape jelly that Anastasia has failed to clean from the floor, and will slam headfirst into the refrigerator, knocking himself unconscious, sparing me the unpleasant task of thumping him again with the baseball bat. Once I have located a small firm pillow and have figured out a way to plump it under Burt's head without touching either his greasy hair or his grime-encrusted skin, I will finish writing my helpful cleaning guide for dear Anastasia, who might never have meant to keep the borrowed books but might simply have misplaced them in the clutching swamp of trash that has overwhelmed her home. Having departed the house with your books, I will have them--and myself--irradiated to kill the legions of dangerous bacteria acquired in that pestilential domicile. Thereupon, I will be ready to return your books to you,Anita. For that, I will need your full address.

Question #3

Why have you reprinted some books from your earlier years and not others? You seem to have started out in the sci-fi genre. When and why did you switch to horror? How many pseudonyms did you actually use? Why did you write some books under pseudonyms and not others? Since I asked so many questions about you, if you would like to know anything about me, please ask. -- Nikki, Northern Indiana.

You are a regular question machine, Nikki. Yes, I started in science fiction. My first published novel was STAR QUEST. If it had been titled STAR TREK, I would have been instantly famous and best buds with William Shatner. How different my life would have been.
By 30, I would have been a billionaire from the sale of rubber Spock ears. Anyway, after writing about fifteen science-fiction novels, most of them not good, I burnt out on the genre. I had read it as a child, which is why I wanted to write it; but by my late twenties, I switched to suspense. I've never considered myself a horror writer. Some books have horror elements, but most do not. Over the years, I used nine pseudonyms, some only once. Because I like writing a bewildering variety of stories, my publishers and agents insisted that each new kind of fiction I tried would require a pen name so as "not to confuse readers." Eventually, I decided that this was bad advice, that readers were smarter than most publishers give them credit for being. I stopped using pen names and put the best of those books into paperback under my real name. Now, since you invited my inquiries, here are the things I want to know about you, Nikki. (1) Why are you so profligate with the letter k, using two in your name when one would do as well? (2) Why do you take such obvious and intense pride in the fact that you're from northern Indiana rather than from the south, east, or west of that fine state? (3) Do you feel a kinship with Hoosiers from other parts of the state, or do you despise them and call them swine? (4) On the evening of March 12, 2003, were you the woman with the nose ring, the tattooed tongue, and the armadillo on a leash, with whom I had such a fascinating conversation about molecular biology in a bar in Fort Wayne?

Question #4

When everyday life comes along, how do you make the time to write even when you really don't want to? Does this affect your output? Do you ever meet with aspiring writers to discuss questions like this? --Julie (who seems to live on the nameless planet that Joanne occupies)

Everyday life is always coming along, which is why it's called "everyday life." We all have dental emergencies, car problems, and encounters with menacing extraterrestrials that interfere with our writing. These are events beyond our control. To blame them for our lack of writing time is to pretend that we have no free will; this is self-delusion. To preserve writing time, we have to make hard choices about the things we can control: how much time we watch TV; how much time we surf the Web; how much time we drink ourselves into oblivion. I have always found enormous amounts of time for writing because I watch no more than an hour or two of TV per week, and some weeks none at all. I do not surf the Web. Though I have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, I have never drunk myself into oblivion, though if I decided I needed to drink myself into oblivion, I would pour down five martinis and get the job done in an hour instead of spending a whole day at it. Frankly, I feel that a lot of young writers spend way too much time discussing writing and the problems of being a writer; this is usually another delaying tactic to avoid sitting at the keyboard. Although writing is often a pleasure for me, there are days when it is agony, so I am a master of delaying tactics--and quick to recognize when I am resorting to them.

Question #5

What movie star would you most like to see in the film version of one of your books? -- Ken, Chicago

Denzel Washington. I am a nut for Denzel Washington. MAN ON FIRE, TRAINING DAY, REMEMBER THE TITANS...I've seen MAN ON FIRE maybe four times. The only reason Denzel Washington does not have a dozen Oscars on his mantel is the same reason that Cary Grant never won any at all: He is such a natural, with such born grace, that his performances seem to come too easily to him, as if he's tossing them off--which he is not; he is subtle and cerebral--as opposed to the often strenuous and even exhausting performances of someone like Dustin Hoffman. David Thomson, in his authoritative THE NEW BIOGRAPHICAL DICTIONARY OF FILM makes a convincing argument that Cary Grant remains the "best and most important actor in the history of cinema." Especially in films that are not primarily--or at all--concerned with racial issues, that are instead about universal human values and about the spiritual core of humankind, Washington is as riveting and convincing as Grant. Unfortunately, at 51, he is too old to play the leads in many of my books, but he would be great as Spencer Grant, the protagonist of DARK RIVERS OF THE HEART, as Ethan Truman in THE FACE, as Travis Cornell in a quality film version of WATCHERS (as opposed to the deeply moronic versions so far made)... But I know enough about the film industry to be sure there is no chance whatsoever that such a blissful intersection of actor and material will ever occur for me, not in my lifetime.

Question #6

Which do you think of first: character or plot? --John, Columbus

I do not plot. Not consciously. Characters drive the events of the story and take me places I never would have anticipated. This does not mean that every book starts with a character. Some do--like ODD THOMAS, in which I knew the character in detail long before I knew what his story was going to be. In books like THE HUSBAND, the hook--some would call it the concept--comes first, but the concept is not a plot. It is more a situation, a premise. With that, I have to know who the lead characters are, have to understand them, and in the understanding of them, I find the plot chapter by chapter. This feels organic to me, and character-driven stories feel more real, even when they are stories of the fantastic, than do plot-driven books.

Question #7

I have noticed, lately, an inspired goofiness in your material (ODD THOMAS, LIFE EXPECTANCY, some in THE HUSBAND). Is there a completely comic piece coming up, or is there one or two already in your body of work that slipped under my radar? --Jade, Toronto

Many years ago, I wrote a comic novel, HANGING ON, which was well reviewed but sold fewer copies than I have relatives. I was told by my publisher and agent that comic novels don't sell. Consequently, in the interest of eating and keeping a roof over my head, I avoided comic elements until WATCHERS and LIGHTNING, when they began to creep into the mix. Books like MIDNIGHT, THE BAD PLACE, COLD FIRE, HIDEAWAY, MR. MURDER all made room for comedy. Some readers never noticed it, and some were infuriated by it (they wanted their scares served straight up, thank you), but most were supportive. DARK RIVERS OF THE HEART made room for some comedy--but then INTENSITY and SOLE SURVIVOR allowed not a line of it. With the Chris Snow books, primarily in dialogue and in the narrator's POV, I began to feel increasingly comfortable blending laughter and chills. Perhaps my two funniest villains are Dr. Ahriman in FALSE MEMORY and Junior Cain in FROM THE CORNER OF HIS EYE. Of recent work, LIFE EXPECTANCY comes the closest to being a comic novel, though suspense is an equally important factor. I doubt that I'll ever write a straight comic novel without suspense to drive it, because I just have too much fun with that combination. Because the human condition is a comedy and a tragedy all at once, it's hard for me to imagine ever writing another completely humorless book.

Question #8

What's the best piece of writing advice you ever heard?--Louise, Seattle

The brilliant novelist Walker Percy once gave some advice about writing advice, and what he said is twenty-four-carat truth: "The best thing to do with advice, even good advice, is to listen as hard as you can, take it to heart, then forget it." In other words, don't let other people form your style, your voice, your direction; be who you are, but with a proper consideration of criticism.

Question #9

I've read WHISPERS twice. How do you feel about the relationship between Tony and Hilary [in that book] as opposed to other relationships you've created, and do you have a favorite couple? -- Erin, Texas

I was still finding my way when I wrote WHISPERS. Tony and Hilary's relationship feels planned to me, lacking the spontaneity and the unplumbable mystery of love. Each character still seems real to me in the scenes in which he or she is apart from the other, but when they share the stage, I find them at once less convincing as people. Worse is the problem of carnality. When I wrote this book, I thought it necessary to portray the sexual part of a relationship to make it well-rounded and to lend it "authenticity." My only defense now is that I was a child of my generation and that my generation, as it has abundantly proved, was in its youth witless, graceless, and willfully stupid. Soon after WHISPERS, I reached the conclusion that fully described sex acts in novels, while they may titillate, are fundamentally dishonest for a host of reasons, not least of all because sexual pleasure has an ineffable quality that resists being defined by words; therefore, no description of sex can be wholly accurate and rounded, only mechanical and cold, and therefore false. I've never read an explicit sex scene in any novel that has yet changed my mind. Furthermore, portraying the carnal side of characters in explicit detail diminishes them--not because sex is wrong; I am making an aesthetic, not a moral argument here-- but because it presents the animal side of human nature while distancing us, as readers, from the intellectual and emotional lives of the characters. It is in the multitudinous details of the intellectual and emotional aspects of attraction and passion that the subject of love can inspire genuine art. Consequently, some of my favorite couples in my own work are Mitch and Holly in THE HUSBAND, Odd and Stormy in ODD THOMAS, Jimmy and Lori in LIFE EXPECTANCY, Billy and Barbara in VELOCITY, and Jim and another Holly in COLD FIRE.

Question #10

I've read three of your books and liked each more than the one before it. But there are so many. I need a short reading list, say ten more titles. Which of your books are you totally satisfied with? -- Morgan, New Brunswick

I am not totally satisfied with any of them. Each time I start a novel, I have a shining vision of it in my mind. By the time that it is finished, the shining vision has become a finished script that simply can't measure up to the book in my head. Any novelist who is--or can be--honest with himself will tell you that every writing project is undertaken in high hope and completed with a humbling sense of inadequacy. When a writer claims to be completely satisfied with his work, he is inevitably one I find unreadable.

Next Installment Coming Soon!