May 19, 2010

I’ve read that you do not much like cats and that you are allergic to them. I’ve recently gotten a little 3-month-old male kitten from our local humane society and named him Sir DDK, after my favorite singer (Neil Diamond), favorite actor (Johnny Depp), and favorite author. Does little DDK have your blessing to use your name? –Karen, Illinois

I like cats. I would love to have a cat. But I am so allergic to them that if I enter a house where a cat resides, the allergic reaction is so immediate that I have to inject myself with epinephrine (which I carry at all times), chug liquid Benedril, and get to a hospital to avoid falling into anaphylactic shock and suffocating as my airway swells shut. Our friend Laura Albano, to whom I dedicated LIFE EXPECTANCY, knows all this and has decided to get me a kitten for Christmas. With friends like this, who needs Satan? (Hi, Laura.) DDK is free to use my name, although actually he is only using my initial. The fee for the use of my initial is only $415 annually.

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