Essays
I have friends who eat at a restaurant where you and your wife go. They say you take your dog. Is that true? They say you wear Hawaiian shirts? Is that true, too?––Kelly, Arizona
Well, now you’ve blown our cover, Kelly. The owner of the restaurant and the waiters had no idea that Trixie was a dog. We dressed her nicely, put sunglasses on her, and everyone thought she was an unfortunate teenage girl in need of a depilatory cream. Yes, we often eat at restaurants where dogs are allowed on the patio. Trixie is so well behaved that many people don’t even realize she’s there until we get up to leave. She never barks; she never begs. She receives one chicken breast, grilled plain. She sits up to eat it, piece by piece, has a drink of water, then lies down and observes surrounding humanity, which she finds endlessly amusing. And yes, I’m fond of Reyn Spooner shirts, which are not as flamboyant as some Hawaiian shirts, classic. But I’m not sure why your friends find the Hawaiian shirts newsworthy. I would think they would be more surprised by my elaborate feathered hats and the necklace of live reptiles.
