Essays
The best way to express love and good cheer
December! This is the happiest time of the year but also more dangerous than most people realize. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire cause more the 1200 house fires each year. Rudolph’s nose emits dangerous levels of radiation. The Chipmunks will be all over the media singing “Handel’s Messiah,” doing massive psychological damage to music lovers. Last year, while Santa was on a sugar high from free cookies, he drove the reindeer into the side of the Goodyear blimp.
From Santa’s point of view, the blimp episode was not half as terrifying as the moment in 2020 when a temporary failure of the antigravity device caused the sleigh to plunge 20,000 feet. The reindeer were traumatized, and Santa had to return to the North Pole to change his pants.
On the other hand, in spite of the many seasonal dangers, this is a warm time for opening our hearts wider to friends and family, for doing the right thing instead of the easy thing. However, even this generosity of spirit could be taken too far if, for example, you give the carjacker money for dinner and a movie before he drives off in your vehicle.
We polled everyone here at Koontzland as to the perfect thing to do to express the spirit of Christmas or Hanukkah or the winter solstice. To our surprise, there was unanimous agreement that nothing expresses love and good cheer more than pre-ordering my new novel, The House at the End of the World, for yourself and others. It will be published on January 24th, just when everyone needs something to brighten those gray, dreary days of winter. You’re welcome.