Essays

On the 7th, Daylight Savings Time ended at last. I no longer have to take our dog, Elsa, out to potty in the dark, after dinner, when those hard-eyed coyotes in black leather jackets are loitering on the corner, outside the pool hall, paring their claws with stilettos, giving us the eye, discussing what side dishes would go best with us.

The big holiday this month is Thanksgiving, when we express our gratitude for all the good that has come to us during the year—and then mercilessly devour a turkey. Instead of a real turkey, you might prefer one made of tofu, bamboo sawdust, and plasma purged of animal protein. In that case, here’s a culinary tip: If after purchasing such a delight you feel more in the mood for fake ham, your highly pliable “turkey” can be massaged into the shape of a hog’s rear quarter. Indeed, it can be reshaped into numerous strips of bacon, a platter of pork chops, or even lobster tails. I fondly recall one Thanksgiving when, weary of the idea of turkey, I reshaped our faux bird into a vegetable feast of asparagus, carrots, Brussels sprouts, pearl onions, and corn on the cob.

Once you’re pleasantly stuffed on Thanksgiving, you might want to settle down and listen to the brand new audiobook recording of my novel, The Servants of Twilight, available from Brilliance Audio, wherever you get your audio fix. I promise you, it’s not a turkey—either real or tofu.

Warmest regards from all of us here in Koontzland,
Dean Koontz