Quite the birthday gift & “bulldozing the fourth wall”
Marie, one of my wife’s cousins, and Marie’s husband, Rod, sent me a birthday gift that all of us here in Koontzland found amusing—a Bobblehead doll…
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Following other catastrophes, the entrepreneurial saga continues
Last month, instead of writing one of my usual little meant-to-be-humorous pieces with which I have enjoyed afflicting you over the years…
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The story of my first job. The important thing is… I lived.
As we all know, this newsletter has no more news in it than you’ll find on a rock into which a caveman carved three meaningless symbols …
ContinueMy new novel—now available!
In my previous newsletter, in the interest of promoting my latest novel, Going Home in the Dark, I resorted to hard-sell tactics for the first time…
ContinueMy HIGHLY ENTERTAINING novel coming on May 20th
Okay, let’s get right to the hard sell. In the past I have always avoided the hard sell because I find it demeaning to both you and me.
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Am I having a belated mid-life crisis?
I’m thinking of making a career change, taking on something that’s intellectually challenging like miniature golf or hot-dog-eating contests.
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A man wearing antlers is screaming outside my window
It’s me again. That’s what happens when you sign up for a monthly newsletter. You think, “Gosh, is it really a month since the last time…
ContinueAn “oozing wound letter”
I don’t want to write a newsletter this month. I want to write the Great American Novel, a symphony to rival anything by Bach, two hit movies…
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Holidays wishes from Elsa Koontz, dog.
I, Elsa Koontz, who is dog, have been paid six cookies to express my thoughts related to the upcoming holiday. Some doubters say Donner and …
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Books for this holiday & a peek at my new one
I have just realized that for years I have addressed this newsletter to “readers,” inadvertently limiting my audience to those who can read.
ContinueWhat I will be reading on Halloween
How times have changed. When I was a kid at Halloween, boys dressed up like rotting zombies, hid their identities with…
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My latest novel is now available!
What is a cookie? I’m talking about the kind of cookie that is baked in an oven, not the kind of cookie you foolishly leave when you…
ContinueMy new novel, The Forest of Lost Souls, will take your mind off all worries
I know this newsletter is supposed to be amusing, but I’m just not in a mood to write anything amusing. I’ve been waiting for DoorGrub to…
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Writing an amusing monthly newsletter is like climbing Mount Everest
Writing a monthly newsletter that is at least mildly amusing is like climbing Mount Everest twelve times a year. Every month, I endure…
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AI explorations with a side of caramel-chocolate pudding
I love writing, but it can be exhausting. So many decisions need to be made every day. Who should be the lead of the new book? A naive young plumber…
ContinueThe Forest of Lost Souls, available this September
After last month’s disquisition on the danger posed to the Koontz family by mountain lions, I had hoped that our community board…
ContinueMountain lion sightings and hopes for my May newsletter
I have no patience for people who complain about rabbits eating their flowers and moles undermining their lawns and snails doing …
ContinueA delightful and compelling story that nearly everyone loves
Last month, Mr. K’s desk asserted its authority and wrote the newsletter, which is Desk’s right because, after all, this publication is titled…
ContinueA new novel and newsletter from the Desk of Dean
This newsletter is actually from me, the desk of Dean—or DOD, as I am referred to with respect and awe by other furniture in this residence.
ContinueA little news that might please you
Welcome to 2024, the Year of the Potato Peeler. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you didn’t read last month’s newsletter.
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